#TheGayAgenda: Finding, Belonging, Flatting

Queer Friendly Flatting Tips:

1.  Gender-Neutral/Gender-Inclusive Language: Be sure to use gender neutral/gender inclusive language if you’re not sure of someone’s pronouns, gender identity, or their partner’s.

2.  Confidentiality: Respect others’ privacy and confidentiality and keep the trust they’ve put in you. 

3.  Be Consistent: Remember to try and use correct names and pronouns in conversations even if the person you’re talking about isn’t in the room.

4.  Respect Boundaries: Some of our community members may experience dysphoria (unease or dissatisfaction) and/or may not want to talk about things. Plus, physical boundaries are important in all types of relationships. 

5.   Be Curious: Don’t ask invasive questions. You can ask what something means to someone but not treat them like Queer Wikipedia. When in doubt, Google!

6.   Humour: Be mindful of the jokes you and those around you make.

7.   Belonging: Queer, questioning, or ally, try and make it a safe space for everyone!

8.  Being Supportive: When it comes down to it, just don’t be a dick!


Where do I find a queer-friendly flat and/or queer flat mates?

There are a few ways to do this – remember, queer people exist everywhere – but here are some suggested by Queer Support:

  • Check out online sites like TradeMe as some may include this in their listings.
  • There are some really helpful flatting pages out there, here are our recommendations:
    • Queer Housing NZ (Facebook) – queer houses across Aotearoa.
    • UniQ – students often post about looking for flats and/or flat mates.

Facing Discrimination in Flat Hunting

  • It is unlawful to be discriminated against when looking for a flat. You cannot be turned down as a potential tenant based on being a member of the rainbow community, much like based on culture, religious beliefs, age, ability etc.
  • This is true for looking for flats and deciding whether to continue or end a tenancy. It is also unlawful for anyone, including landlords and/or property managers, to tell anyone to discriminate.
  • Unless discrimination is done explicitly, it can be hard to prove. Regardless, it doesn’t feel good. If you suspect this has happened, go and talk to OUSA Student Support for advice.

Queer Support: Come Out and Play

Queer Support offers support at the University and Polytechnic for everyone, rainbow people and allies alike. Here are a few things they offer:

  • One on One Support: Confidential chats about anything you need.
  • Volunteering Opportunities: Queer Peer Support and event assistants.
  • Multimedia Library: Free binge of The L Word? Sign me up!
  • Events celebrating diversity
  • Workshops & Trainings: Educating staff and students on rainbow issues and the best ways to be supportive.
  • Queer Friendly Staff Network (QFSN): Keen to know who the queer-friendly people in your department? We have a list.