Whether you’re sharing a space for the first time or have been living together for a while, keeping the lines of communication open is crucial for preventing conflicts and maintaining good vibes. Here’s a few tips for maintaining a positive flatting experience through healthy communication:
- Set up consistent communication channels, like a shared messaging group so everyone can stay in the loop and be on the same page around expectations.
- If something’s bothering you, don’t let small frustrations fester – address them early to avoid bigger problems down the road. While it may feel easier to talk to others instead of the person involved, try to approach them directly and steer clear of gossip. Consider how you would want the situation to be approached if your actions were bothering someone else.
- When addressing concerns, try using “I” statements to express how you feel, rather than assigning blame. For example, say “I feel stressed when the flat is a mess” instead of “You never clean up after yourself.”
- Living with flatmates means compromising – everyone grew up in different households with their own unique values, expectations and life experiences. If different opinions come up, make an effort to hear the other person out to try to understand their point of view and come up with something that works for everyone.
- Starting out the year with a household agreement is a great way to get everyone on the same page. Check out the Household Agreement on our website.
Accessing Support
If communication in your flat becomes challenging or conflicts occur OUSA Student Support is here to help. We can:
- Offer guidance on how to approach conversations with your flatmates.
- Help you create a household agreement.
- Facilitate mediation to resolve disputes.
If the situation escalates and you need to find alternative living arrangements, we can help you to explore possible options.
Safety Concerns
If the situation becomes unsafe, don’t hesitate to reach out for help:
- Campus Watch is available 24/7 in North Dunedin. Call them at 0800 479 5000 if you need someone on hand to help resolve things.
- For emergencies or if you’re concerned for your immediate safety, call 111.
If you’re ever uncertain about how to handle a situation, reach out to OUSA Student Support – we are here to help you navigate these challenges.
Navigating Flatmate Issues
Here’s a guide to tackling some of the most frequent flatting challenges you may encounter and some tips for preventing or resolving issues that come up. It’s important to note that flatmate disputes are not covered by the Residential Tenancies Act, but OUSA Student Support can be your ally before the situation turns into a full-blown flatting drama.
- Flatmate Moves Out and Stops Paying Rent
Check your tenancy agreement, if you are in a joint fixed-term tenancy, you are most likely ‘jointly and severally liable’ for the rent. When one flatmate stops paying, you need to keep paying and find a way to settle it with the other flatmate. Early communication can prevent this – as much as possible work out issues as they come up. If one person decides to leave, plan together to find a suitable replacement. Claims can be taken to the Disputes Tribunal to recoup money owed by one flatmate, for this keep records of who has paid what and when.
- Flatmate Habits Causing Tension
It’s best to make sure that you know your potential flatmates before you sign. If you see ‘red flags’, try and iron these out early. A household agreement can set some guidelines for what works well. It’s important to identify non-negotiables early on as a flat group, like no drugs or smoking or rules around guests. If your flatmate is on the tenancy agreement, they legally have a right to live there, if you are all certain that you can’t live with another person, think about what alternatives you and they may have. OUSA Student Support can help navigate this complex scenario.
- Flatmate Breaking the Rules
If a flatmate ignores an agreed-upon rule, like no smoking or drugs, it’s important to address it quickly. Calling a flat meeting is often a good place to start to re-negotiate what is acceptable to everyone. Timing is everything here, so pick a time after the incident when your flatmates are in a good space and have time to chat. If the issue seems unresolvable, seek out some facilitation or mediation support from OUSA Student Support.
- Struggling to Focus in a Noisy Flat
If you’re trying to study but the flat is constantly loud or messy, setting clear expectations from the start is crucial. A household agreement can outline study time, noise limits, and cleanliness. If the situation isn’t working for you, discuss it with your flatmates or consider finding a new living arrangement that suits your needs.
- Flatmate’s Financial Issues
If a flatmate struggles with paying rent or bills on time, it’s important to address it before things escalate. Don’t depend on the property manager to bring rent arrears to the flat’s attention. If one flatmate is struggling to manage their finances, encourage them to seek advice from OUSA Student Support around budgeting if needed. Having an honest, facilitated conversation can help find a solution that works for everyone.